Saturday, February 13, 2010

"Gentlemen Prefer Succubi" by Jill Myles

Book Rating: A-
Cover Art Rating: B (Strange hairdo and mole on otherwise hot male model)

Best Quotes or Something to Whisper in the Night:
1. "I don't want to hear talking...I want you screaming my name."
2. "...I'd take second-hand smoke over one more lungful of Tabu any day."
3. "I'm sweaty and I smell like camel. If you want to try to seduce me now, bring it."
4. "My eyes glazed over at the thought of being sandwiched between two delicious men."

The Heroine:
Mousy Jackie Brighton used to be a size twelve on a good day, but after waking up in a garbage bin her boobs are getting bigger, her waist is getting smaller, her hair is getting shinier and her lust is out of control. What gives? Turns out she's now a succubus. That's what happens when you get bitten by a vampire after sleeping with a fallen angel. Who knew? Now she has to have sex in order to survive. What's a former prude going to do? Good thing we're along for the ride as Jackie finds out.

The Hero:
Noah Gideon is the gorgeous, good hearted, fallen angel who has to provide sexual pleasure to others in order to survive. The needier the better. He's a giver, and we love him for it. Now he is the inadvertent sire of Jackie, a newly born succubus, but he's there for her. Did I mention he's a giver?

The Hero:
Zane is the "breathtakingly gorgeous" bad boy and right hand vamp to the wicked Vampire Queen. With his dark brooding manner and sardonic grin, he's the ying to Noah's yang, together they may make up the perfect man. Could he also be Jackie's other sire? I won't tell, but you'll have fun finding out.

Story in a Nut Shell:
Jackie is turned into a succubi and isn't quite sure what that new life entails. Good thing she has fallen angel Noah and porn star and fellow succubi, Remy, to show her the ropes. Toss in the potentially fatal vampire Zane and an evil plot to obtain an ancient halo and take over the world. You can bet sparks will fly. Sparks and sex, lots of sparks and sex.

Book Review:
If you like your vampireporn funny, sexy and fast paced, you will like this novel. Filled with likable characters in outrageous situations you'll be hoping that you might just wake up in a garbage bin with a sexual appetite that can't be sated. Live on succubi!

"Bitter Night" by Diana Pharaoh Francis

Book Rating: B+
Cover Art Rating: C

Best Quotes or Something to Whisper in the Night:
1. "He's gorgeous, he cooks like a pro, and he surfs. And just look at those eyes...If I liked men, I'd fuck him every chance I got."
2. "Being naked that close to Alexander was like waving red meat in front of a starving pit bull - where she was the pit bull."
3. "She wanted to know what the rest of him tasted like. She wanted to be skin on skin with him."

Just Plain Stupid:
Letting the evil witch Solange, go after she hunts, kidnaps and kills little children for her spells. Apparently,"There's been enough death, and her coven needs her." Say what?! I guess they wanted to bring her back for the sequel.

Heroine:
Max is a Shadowblade Prime. This means she is the number one body guard and assassin for a witch named Giselle. Giselle tricked Max into becoming a Shadowblade by getting her drunk in college and playing the "what if" game. You know: What if you could live forever and have special powers? Would you do it? Max said yes and unknowingly allowed Giselle to bespell her, causing Max to give up her family, schooling, and any chance at a normal life. What she gains is keeping her good looks, extraordinary healing powers, strength, and longevity. Unfortunately, Giselle also likes to torture her, but it's for her own good...really! No wonder Max is one pissed off bitch.

Hero:
Alexander is the yummy Prime for a witch named Solange. And believe it or not, Solange is a hundred times worse than Giselle when it comes to being sheer evil. After Alexander loses a battle with Max, where he is literally eaten alive from the inside out by rats - yeah, I'm not making that up - Solange orders him assassinated. Good thing Max is willing to risk her life to save him. He's that yummy, rats and all.

Story in a Nut Shell:
Max is a Shadowblade Prime; a deadly, immortal bodyguard and assassin for the witch who bespelled her. Unfortunately, she has no choice in the matter and she is unable to break the binds which compel her to protect and follow orders of the witch Giselle. But there are bigger problems brewing here on earth. The Guardians are the supreme beings in charge of the Uncanny and Divine and they are getting angry because magic is being driven from the earth by humanity. They are intent on starting a war against the humans and bringing more magic back to earth. The witches covens are obligated to follow the Guardian's orders, but what happens when you are a Shadowblade with a heart of gold and aren't interested in destroying humans, especially when you were once one yourself? Max has some difficult choices to make, including whether she can ever forgive Giselle and find an alternative to helping the Guardians.

Book Review:
"Bitter Night" is unique, action packed, and filled with interesting characters and story lines. There is no sex, but there is a romance and a hunky love interest that should keep the die hard romantics interested. The best part about this book, other than the kick ass heroine, is that it delivers a new and exciting take on the paranormal, one that you haven't read before.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

"When Darkness Comes" by Alexander Ivy

Book Rating: C+
Cover Art Rating: D (Is that a man or a woman on the cover? From the Adam's Apple, I'm guessing it's a very masculine Brooke Shields look-a-like. Creepy.)

Best Quotes or Something to Whisper in the Dark:
1. "Her feet hurt, she smelled like an overripe landfill, and a numbing fog was clouding her mind. Hell, at the moment she would have paid a lurking demon to leap out and swallow her whole."
2. "Keep this up and it will be a fantasy for one."
3."Bloody Hell. Nothing had ever felt so good. And he wasn't even inside her."

The Heroine:
Abby Barlow is the cute, plucky companion of the rich, beautiful, and distant Serena. Abby is happy to have the cushy job because prior to it, she has had a sad and terrible life; abusive father, alcoholic mother and abandoned by her siblings. Unfortunately, when Serena is literally fried to death, Abby inadvertently becomes possessed by a mystical being called the Phoenix.

The Hero:
Dante is a gorgeous, British vampire who was tricked and enslaved by witches to guard the woman who is possessed by the Phoenix. He really did not like Serena, the previous Chalice, but was compelled to watch over her for the past 341 years. When she turns into a charcoal briquette, he is relieved, only to find that the Phoenix has relocated to the resident house sitter, Abby, with whom he has been flirting outrageously. Perhaps the next 341 years will be more, shall we say, pleasurable?

Story in a Nut Shell:
Abby Barlow has unknowingly been working for a woman who is a mystical Chalice. The Chalice holds the spirit of the Phoenix, which keeps the evil Dark Prince from returning to earth. Vampire Dante is the reluctant body guard of the Chalice, and when Serena is killed and the Phoenix moves into Abby's body, he must protect her as well. Because Abby hasn't been trained as the Chalice she is weak and it is the perfect opportunity for all sorts of demons and nefarious evil beings to try to destroy the Phoenix and return the Dark Prince to earth. But who killed Serena in the first place and who can be trusted? Dante and Abby are (almost) dying to find out.

Book Review:
Dante's referral to Abby as lover throughout the entire book is annoying. Condescending. Chauvinistic. Rude. Oh, and did I mention...really annoying. It's hard to like a book when the hero is a jerk. This is also not the first book I've read where the hero blames the victim for their circumstance. Dante is actually angry at Abby for becoming the new Chalice. Should she not have tried to help her employer? I'm sure that she wasn't thinking about becoming possessed when she attempted to lend aid. The book moves quickly with touches of mystery and humor and is an above average read, but not by much. The follow up book in the Guardian of Eternity Series, "Embrace the Darkness" is an improvement over this book's initial shortfalls. So you may want to follow up with that, lover. (See. Annoying.)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

"Deadtown" by Nancy Holzner

Book Rating: B
Cover Art Rating: C

Best Quotes or Something to Whisper in the Night:
1. "God, I wish I were a vampire. They're like so much cooler than zombies - I mean, if you gotta be undead. Check out the hot guy she was with."
2. "...when you're about to have an argument with that someone, you definitely don't want to be lying bare-assed naked in a bubble-filled tub."
3. "I didn't know much about sorcery, but I suspected Blood of an Annoying Man wouldn't add much firepower to a spell."

Heroine:
Victory Vaughn is a Cerddorion; a race of Welsh shapeshifters. Problem is she can only shift three times a month. She has blond short hair and a kickin' bod. Vicky, as she likes to be called, works as a demon slayer, mostly the kind of demons that invade your dreams. You know, the personal variety. Unfortunately, she has her own personal demon. As a novice, she accidentally called a Hellion demon. He cooked and killed her father and put his mark on her. This has left her a bit mental, especially since that very same Hellion is back and causing trouble.

Hero 1:
Alexander Kane is a paranormal civil rights attorney. He's also a werewolf. He's tall, dark and handsome, but doesn't have a lot of time to spare for romance since the paranormal set have come out of the closet and a plague has caused a whole population of zombies who need representation. Poor Vicky, with an absentee boyfriend she might have to look for a new hottie. Good thing the local human cop is happy to oblige.

Hero 2:
Blond haired, blue-eyed Detective Daniel Costello of the Boston PD is investigating the murder of one of Vicky's clients and is trying to pick her brain regarding possible demon involvement. But this possibly married man, may be interested in more than just Vicky's brain.

Story in a Nut Shell:
A plague has hit Boston and anyone within the affected area has died and been reanimated as a zombie. At first the populace were overjoyed that their loved ones had come back, but the green skinned, red eyed zombies have mostly worn out their welcome and have been sequestered off from the rest of the country. Coupled with that, the other paranormal beings have come out of hiding. You know, vampires, werewolves, witches, etc. and they are fighting for their own civil rights. Victory Vaughn is a Welsh shapeshifter and demon slayer who has ties with the ferocious demon who killed her father. This same demon has murdered one of her clients. Could the two incidents be related?

Review:
This is a solid, humor-filled jaunt into an alternate reality. Murder, political intrigue and romantic innuendos abound. (If you are a reader looking for some vampire porn you will not find it in this installment.) If you like the paranormal, you will find all sorts of species here; vampires, werewolves, shapeshifters, demons, zombies...just name it. The ending is all sorts of fun. It should be interesting to see if the sequel follows up and exceeds our expectations.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"The Scarletti Curse" by Christine Feehan

Book Review: B-
Book Cover: C (A little too creepy and weird)

Best Quotes or Something to Whisper in the Night:
1. "When you laugh, you light up the world. That is a very dangerous thing."
2. "Want me the way I want you."
3. "You take the darkness from my soul..."

The Heroine:
Nicoletta is the village healer, but she is afraid that she will be branded a witch and be put to death. Every man lusts after her, but she is determined to stay unmarried and free to walk barefoot along the seawalls and plant her healing herbs. Trying to stay under radar from the aristocracy and other villages who might report her strange behavior, she dresses plainly and plays the part of "assistant" so that she will remain safe. Unfortunately, even in disguise, she is noticed by the Don Scarletti who chooses her to be his wife.

The Hero:
Telepathic Giovanni Scarletti is the handsome and powerful don of a European nation, but he carries the "Scarletti Curse" on his shoulders. The Scarletti men are destined to love only one woman, and this can be a horrible burden, especially when the Scarletti women keep dying.

Story in a Nutshell:
Giovanni has fallen for the beautiful healer Nicoletta from the village and has invoked his right to marry any woman of his choosing from the community. Unfortunately, women have a tendency to die once they enter the eerie palazzo. Could Nicoletta be next?

Review:
This book reminds me of the rather chaste romantic mysteries that my grandmother used to read and then pass along to me when I was a preteen. Christine Feehan is an intelligent and fluid writer, but it takes a lot of time for her to tell her story and make her point. For some readers this may be, well, tedious. If you are familiar with her Carpathian novels, you will get more of the same here: A strong, chauvinistic male who knows what he wants and a strong-willed female who takes some convincing that a strong, chauvinistic male is really what she needs.

"Night of the Wolves" by Heather Graham

Book Rating: C
Book Cover: B

Best Quotes or Something to Whisper in the Night:
1. "He loved her with his body and with his very soul..."
...And from the Say what?! Department:
2. "Some women are whores because they like being whores. It's addictive. They like pretty things. And they like men."
3. "And that trouble means this isn't the time for you to be running around out there. Can't you go...bake a cake or something?"

Heroine:
Alexandra Gordon is the beautiful heroine who has dreams that sometime come true. If she has enough notice, sometimes the future can be changed. She is plucky, outspoken, and foolhardy...sometimes embarrassingly so. (There are even times I wished she would go "bake a cake...or something.")

Hero:
Hunky Cody Fox has certain talents when it comes to ferreting out vampires and dispatching them. The government has taken notice, sending him across the country to save the towns where the vampires are committing murder. Can he save the town of Victory, Texas? And what will happen when the gorgeous Alexandra Gorden finds out he is half vampire himself?

Story in a Nutshell:
The Civil War is bad enough, but now Texas is under attack by vampires. Two towns have been wiped out already and Victory, Texas may be next. Alexandra Gordon has returned to Victory to claim the boardinghouse left by her dead father, and Doctor Cody Fox has arrived to teach the townsfolk and neighboring Indian tribe how to fight vampires. Mysteries abound. Both Alex and Cody have daddy issues, like did their dads become good vampires or bad ones? And Alex isn't quite sure about her new step mom, either. Could she be working for the bad guys? But the biggest mystery of all, is why digging up a child and decapitating her would be considered okay in what is pretty much a fluffy, no- brain-required HQN romance.

Review:
If you want light easy reading that doesn't require too much thought, this book fits the bill. The author tries very hard to be politically correct. She doesn't want to pick sides in the war between the North and South, apparently buying that it was a disagreement over state's rights, admitting only that slavery is obviously wrong. And if you buy that, you will end up in Victory, Texas where all races have come together and apparently live side by side, respect each other's differences, and are willing to band together to fight the evil vampires that have infiltrated the community. Be prepared to accept this complete rewrite of history, including a ridiculous meeting with creepy president Lincoln and his daffy wife, and believing in vampires will not be too hard to swallow. Drinking while reading is recommended in this instance. Perhaps a dry Merlot.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

My Top Five Recommended Picks of 2009:

1. Mark of the Demon by Diana Rowland
A tongue and cheek detective novel with a smart and funny heroine. And did we mention she likes to summon demons?

2. What a Dragon Should Know by G.A. Aiken
A sexy, abrasive dragon with no qualms about eating puppies is about to match wits with a waspish intellectual politician. Sparks will fly.

3. Soulless by Gail Carriger
Welcome to Victorian England where werewolves, vampires and humans exist within the confines of the ton. Add in a droll, sarcastic spinster and a hunky, mannerless werewolf investigating the same mystery and you will get a story that is...delicious!

4. Noah by Jacqueline Frank
Can the king of the Demons find his true love or will her murder keep them apart forever. Sometimes love really does conker all

5. The Rest Falls Away by Colleen Gleason
Can a female vampire hunter save the world while balancing her career, love, marriage and hoop skirts during the sexist and restrictive era of Victorian England?